bad surf days, like bad hair days, only actually bad

Mangawhai heads was about the worst conditions I've ever surfed in today.
No , not surfed in it. Thats a lie. Haha. I'm not sure what you would call what I was doing.
It was worrying even me. hee hee.

I wasn't going to go up, but then i got that feeling in my belly that i haven't known before surfing...
that, i'm at home missing out on good surf feeling.
A bit like, i'm missing out on a great party, the girl/guy i'm infatuated with is going to be there and i'm not, feeling, but stronger.
And then Old Man Pants was keen to go and thats all the encouragement i needed so up we went.

Oooh shit it was windy, and it wasn't offshore, it was changing constantly but it was very cross winds. It was all white. Out on the bar they were perfect and peeling but like a fucking freight train, truely. the water was all over the place, the currents i mean, moving hell fast.
the rip was about 15 metres wide you know, swirling and eddying. if it looks ginormous (sp) from up on the hill, guess how it looks when it's next to you. I can't believe Pants was even LOOKING in that direction. he was like, blah blah out there.. and i'm like, (snort, choke) i wouldnt' go out there for ANY amount of money. not even if i could SURF.

So then the beach it'self was just really white, every six or seventh wave barrelled a bit before it closed out. Pants talked to some locals and they agreed the water was moving pretty fast out by the bar and they reckoned Forestry would be good. so we set off for that. whereever that is. instead we ended up at Te Arai point. And it was a total washing machine. a
A complete Jeckel and Hyde from the last time i saw it. ravaged. brutal. Where were those clean little 1-2footers of my happiest memories...?! gone they were, gone to days of yore.

So we made a quick decision to go back up to Mangawhai. by the time we'd got back it'd cleaned up alot. so in we went.

Pants has got balls of steel actually. he just went straight out to backline and like, the faces on these things, when the big sets came through, sheeeeeit. They just built and built and built.
I wasn't going to go out there. again, not for money, not even if i could surf.
So i kinda, shit what did i do, i kinda paddled around and around in circles, getting sucked down the beach in the rip, paddling up, ducking under, riding white water, in the shallows and the whitewash. I wasn't prepared to go out to backline, but there was nowhere clean enough to sit and catch little ones. And this fucking killer rip, that just sucked you down and out the end of the beach before you could say look there goes my car.
There were rocks too. oh god NOW i'm whinging. but there were, all the way out, sneak up on you, and i cut my foot on them. okay i scratched my foot, but it hurt. it stung. a little.
i also stood on a fish. slimy fat thing. imagine how quick i jumped on my board?

I kept telling myself remember saturday, remember sunday, really nice conditions out at piha and everything was sweet. it's this fucking wind thats ruining everything
not just your chicken shit guts chopped liver yellow bellied run for the hills scaredy cat arse.
but it was that too.
i think i've lost my nerve.
what nerve i never had.

anyway i didn't want to go in, and i kept pushing on out through the white, and catching this rubbish closed out white wash. but i can't say i wasn't having a good time.
i can never take my eyes off waves, for some reason it doesn't get boring watching every single wave form, curl, fold and careen onto the beach. never a boring one.

anyway yeah. oh so then someone brought their primary school down, and i was like, are you shitting me?!?!?! you're going to let 7-10 year olds 'swim' in this turbine??!?!?! yes they were.
with boogie boards and inflatable things. That REALLY really put me in my place.
i was the biggest kid with the flashest board and the meanest gears, paddling in the shallows.
SHAME man. SHame.
okay okay i'm going to buy a boogie board.. JUST for these kinda days!!!

One young boy walked past me on my way up to the car with a MAAAASIVE inflatable fluro green CHAIR and looked enviously at my board and then inferring his own 'board' he said: "this isn't a very good surfboard' (meaning the chair). and i in my tireless honesty replied: it really isn't a surfboard at all. and he looked down at it and said: yeah.

i should have given him my board and taken up table tennis. i'm a terrible chopped liver no balls chicken shit scaredy ass tomb stone dick wad bandit. or something.
bad surfer.
anyways.

i do'nt know exactly why this blog has turned into tales of suring.. it was never meant to.
maybe it's cuz surfing is the only eventful thing i do, and the only thing clean enough to write about.
snort. snigger.

i've officially finished at the gym!!!!
and the bar!!
this can only mean one thing.....