internet dating and my new car

Me and Jimmy were MSNing the other day, weeks ago, and he got telling me about 'findsomeone' this dating site that had been really successful for him and before you know it we're both online signing up, me at home, him at work.

Initially I just went to look, but then you can't look at anything unless you sign up. Okay, so I sign up. ooooh and in you go, Alice. i'm just a free member so you can only send smiles, but gold members, who pay, can send messages. only gold members can send messages, so if i like someone, i must smile, and wait.

You get to make a profile, is anything harder, describe yourself, so that people will like you, without sounding desperate, weird, too confronting or lying, in twenty words. Or whatever.
Mine is long and rambling, surprise surprise, and honest, surprise surprise. But i've had trouble with the photo because i don't have any photos of me. not head shots. Obviously the photo is KEY to getting laid. no not laid, i just threw that in there for shock value, is the key to getting noticed.
no ones going to email someone they can't see is attractive are they.
except i did. I smiled at someone with no photo. because i liked what he had to say so much.
which i think shines in reflection on my un-shallow nature.
But I don't think men will do the same. I think a woman will get with a guy she likes, but a guys got to get with a woman he finds hot, no?

Anyway. It's just so funny. so weird. but not really weird at all.

My best friend OPENLY and excessively FROWNED on me for doing it.
She has issues about it. I think she thinks it's all about sex. She won't myspace either. And blogging gives her cold sweats.
she thinks it's all Gross Old Perverts Wanting Sex.
WEll, i'm sure there are a few gross old perverts wanting sex. The majority of dudes just seem, nice, and lonely, and sick of not being able to find anyone.
Ala me.
Lots of them seem very normal, intelligent, interesting.. but as one guy put it: all my friends are married and i'd like someone to take to all those couples things and hang out with on sundays.
I know, my friend, i bloodywell know.

Also, in retort to my best friends disgusted-in-me-ness, i can only say, I AM single, I WOULD like to meet someone rad and eventually have a REAL relationship with them.
Why, why can't i be honest about that? does it make me a bad, weak or terrible person?
Those who know me, which is everyone reading this right? know i'm not a bad, weak or terrible person and am infact, totally amazing. So internet dating cannot be a sign of poor character. Can it?

In all reality.. i do everything on line... i read the news on line, work on line, order on line, talk to clients on line, search for houses on line, i buy clothes and music on line, i research on line, i pay my bills on line...why wouldn't i date.. on line..?

And furthermore, my friend Amy's gay friend karl, met the love of his life on line, is moving to rotorua for him and they're getting civil ceremonied. so there you go.

Well, I haven't had that much success, yet, without a photo to come up when you search.
clearly if they could see how drop dead hot cakes i am, i'd be being inundated, but i get by alright with just my personality.
Jimmy's been doing great. He's had lunches. The rest he has to tell me face to face cuz he couldn't say on the phone at work, oooo la la!

Jimmy's another PERFECT example of some young, hot, talented, smart, ambitious, successful, kind hearted, motivated, funny, interesting, perfectly loveable person, who cannot meet the right girl.

I'll tell you what i find interesting and entertaining though.
I"m very opinionated, i come across as such in my profile, i think. lots to say.
And i wonder, if that works for me, as a first impression....
i dont' give a shit if it doesn't, just wondering...
Jimmy's, is pretty short, and sweet, and to the point, and 'if you want to know, come and find out' which is genius really. i might even go simplify mine. what is it they say about leaving something to the imagination?

I was addicted to it for several days. I came home at 3am from being out drinking one morning and signed on, eager to see who'd left me 'smiles' or messages. It's a very nice feeling, people you've never met saying: hey you seem great, hello.
the weirdest i got was a 39year old who said 'hey sexy'
and thats not even weird. just a bit old.

Then I got a bit busier and it got swiftly culled.
So now I just have one findsomeone friend. but every now and then i sign in and drift through the archives of mens faces and have this feeling like they are little boxes of goods, sitting on a shelf, with a picture on the front and inside the box is all this stuff, history, personality, attributes, dreams and wishes, all the things that make a person, all fit together in this one, unique way.
a shopping channel for people. and no two people the same.
THe picture may or may not tell you about what is in the box, because you can never be sure really can you.. bad light? old photo..?
waiting
waiting to get chosen
and then if you did get chosen, you'd take your profile off wouldn't you?
bumped off into relationshipland living in the warm embrace of couplesville
one bus ride from happyhomes and whitepicketfences
and leave room at the end for new, single, hopefuls. (N.S.H.)

I'll tell you something else interesting. I went and searched through the womens pages cuz i suddenly wanted to know what kind of women were doing this, and people, the standard is MUCH higher. much higher.
I found a girl on there i thought was too damn good to pass up, really good looking, blonde, genuinely smile, tall, athletic, interesting, a teacher, sporty, seemed really nice, profile seemed normal, clever. her one liner was 'dateless, not desperate!' which appealed to me. I couldn't believe she was even on this dating site (which means i DO have judgements about these people including myself) she seemed so great.
so i forwarded her to jimmy.
saying i think someone oughta take this one.
think he did too. imagine if they work out and it was all my doing.

Well thats all. I just thought it was so interesting. I threatened my best friend that if i actually meet someone and imagine if we worked out and got married and she had to do a speech at my wedding that started
"they met online in a dating website"
she looked sideways at me and frowned deeply.
haha.

changing topic completely.
Everything I said about not needing or wanting a flash car?
totally rubbish.
my car is the most amazingly beautiful piece of metal i've ever touched.
it's sleek and black and shiny and humungous.
it is SO comfortable, everything inside is electric, everything adjustable, everything smooth.
i Stopped to get petrol on the way home yesterday and couldn't find the petrol tank opener, it's so new. this really nice young guy came over and was EXCESSIVELY helpful, you know why? cuz of my flash car. oh and maybe my skirt. and the wind. it's a whoooole new world, and not one i'm against.
the button turned out to be in the door.
when you turn off the key the inside light FADES on.. and FADES off.
if cars could talk, this one would be saying:
Good morning beautiful, fuck your sexy, take this off and let me...

It's 3.5 Litre, which is totally fucking ridiculous, and i still cringe about that.
but i'll tell you somthing, she takes off, smoothly, and breaks (ABS) smoooothly
man she's got power i've never been behind
and she purs.
and FAT wheels and four wheel drive and she HUGS the corners even in the rain and nothing goes sliding down the seat. stomach contents never lurch to one side.
and a good sterio.
Pants popped over last night to see, his little eyes bugged out. and he pointed out the 'boy toy' bits on it, like, it's an automatic, but then the stick has a slidey bit that is like a few extra gears.
it's basically for hooning, and i'll never use it, but it looks rad.
it also has cruise control. i could go on.

When i got home i had to get my house key out of my car, i leaned in old bessy and sniffed her damp smell and got the scratch of sand under my knees and looked around at the mess and thought
i can never,
ever,
go back.

I'm a turncoat.
And not really bothered by it.
Oh and petrol card. so i just filler up and sign.
To consume is not good.
petrol is not good.
but if you must, and i must, to have other people pay for it
is actually quite good.

woo. i just got woozy in my chair and the screen went a bit blurry.
i wonder if it was all that talk about my fucking hot car.