Love: A Three Part Drama...

Hi, valentines post, I don't even care, I thought i cared and now i'm over it.

You know who will care? My brothers girlfriend of five years. Not only is it valentines day but it's their five year anniversary and I asked him if he'd gotten her a present and he said:

We don't really do presents

(oh. my. god) You're the boyfriend from hell.

but it's valentines day?

yeaaahhhh? a look of naievity sweeps his face.

HAHAHAHAHAHA he has no idea. that poor woman.

She'll be nicer to you if you do?

Hmmmm, he seems to take this into valid consideration.

just flowers will do kae. OH GOD.

so heres a story:

Love Part 1

This Person I Know (TPIK) works in mental health in a house where a handful of .. mental people live. Whats the word for mental nowadays? You know what I mean. People with scizophrenia, manic depression, bi polar, personality disorders etc. Before you get upset let me tell you: most people are crazy. I'm crazy. I'm not even kidding and a few of you reading this will be nodding saying 'ahum'. Who'm I kidding, you're all nodding.

I'd say you're probably crazy too. I'm not joking about that either. We're all quite mental, we just mask it well. Like hairless monkeys with our clever opposable thumbs, we perform tasks within society that allow us to stay here, like not batting the thoughts that circle like pesky demons around your head sometimes, like drinking inside if it's pre 6pm, like cleaning our feet. So don't think I"m being rude when I say 'mental'. I'm just being frank, and frankly, complimentary.

So anyway, Tpik was telling me that, as will happen in any living situation, sometimes the mental people would hook up and form couples. Naturally.

Tpik was giving one mental gentleman a psychotherapy session this one time, and he tells her how he is making his love a gift for her birthday.

Perhaps in one of those Arts Therapy for Mentals classes, I don't know, I'm guessing.

Both the people in said couple had their issues and both had bouts of depression in which they periodically talked about the possibility of suicide. (Suicide is no laughing matter and if you are considering it come and talk to me I will fix and love you and never let you go.)

Well Mr Mental, had made his love, two very small, 'proxy' (if you will) miniature coffins.

A his and hers coffin set.

These were to represent the coffins that they both would occupy when they died, together, in a dark and passionate tryst, in what was clearly a very romantic vision of his.

The work and thought that would go into that sort of gift, is no small thing.

And Tpik told me, it was one of those moments of strained professionalism, when she had not to laugh.

I wish I could tell you that the mental lady liked the gift, but I don't know. I

wish I could tell you that they never used the gifts, if that would make you feel good, but I don't know.

What I think I do know is this: Sometimes love does not come in the form we expect, sometimes, love does not come the way we want it to, or in a shape we like

and sometimes we wouldn't even recognise it

But I think that more people are TRYING to love us, than we know.

Love Part 2 This story is about me.

And how I love, being me, just me. Just incase anyone feelings sad today, might be able to empathise (sp) with me and feel better.

Sometimes, I change my mind about my plans, I cancel on things at the last minute, take the wrong road, choose other options, go somewhere at the drop of a hat, and I don't have to run it past anyone. Nobody minds a bit. Nobody complains or gives a shit.

I can move. Cities, houses, countries... I can go anywhere, and nothing holds me back or makes it tragic. It is not heartbreaking, it is THRILLING.

I never fight. I never think that I will leave me.

I never lie to myself to make me like me more, even in subtle ways you think you aren't doing, like denying your emotional needs to make yourself seem more easy to love. I know me, and I can guess what I'm going to do, and even when i'm kinda bad, lazy or choose unwisely, I still think i'm cute, and fucking funny.

I haven't put clothes on all afternoon. I don't have to visit anyones grandma. I put on music i like and turn it off when i'm sick of it. I only see movies that I want to see. I don't stay at parties longer than I want to. I don't put in for appearances, and I don't have to meet my ex and be overly nice to her while I hate her that she's made love with me too, first.

I eat what I want, when I want, I get all the good bits, and leave the bad bits, and I NEVER look at myself sideways and think: thats not a good idea. I back me, all the way. Even when i'm hungover and eating cheesels for breakfast.

I never bat an eye.

I never suggest I do the soul crushing sensible thing.

No, I say, Congratulations Clare, you are AMAZING and you must hold out for things that make your soul happy.

When I dream I dream big and I believe it.

I don't nod and say, aaahuhh... and show my underlying doubt.

I never think: this is all I've got. I"m stuck with you because I love you so much now and we've shared so much and I can't bear to leave you.

Because there is just me, and that leaves the possibility for so much more.

I live with constant, shiny, bubbly, sparkly HOPE. The hope is a candle that bobs along in a sea of contentment icing on the cake of my heart.

And I love me. I'm kinda rude about me sometimes, and I should stick up for myself more sometimes. I should treat me a little better. Get more sleep, drink less coffee. But deep down, I think i'm really wonderful. And that's nice. Especially coming from someone as high calibre as me. There are too many good things about being in love to ever write down, but being a single serve for one, just me, no 'plus one', isn't such a shit bag either.

Love Part 3

This ones about you.

And you.

And you.

And all of you.

You know who you are.

And it's about how much I love you.

I love you because you have never judged me, not once, and you tell me all the evil things you think and do so that we can laugh and so that I will know we're all a little bad, and you laugh with me, more than anyone. You will buy a baddass eighties leotard and pxt yourself in it and send it to me, when I'm crying, just to make me laugh.

I love you both because you have always and always will give me everything I need, above and over your own needs. Without ever thinking twice.

I love you because you are good. And you love your daughter the way you love everyone, effortlessly, every second without ever swaying from kindness and compassion.

I love you because you question the world. You say what you need to say even though it is big and scary and challenging and emotional and weird and no one understands you. You still say. And you make it okay for us all to say. You fight the wrong in the world for us all. And you play mean guitar, drop anything to surf with me and let me laugh at your Oldmanpants and love everything I do.

I love you because you stick to who you are. You don't like to tell too much, but still you cannot close your heart. You speak truth. You make it okay for us all to speak the truth. When I am lost I come to you and you give me your attention and your thoughts, and you are always right. You know about the anatomy of the soul, you're my soul sister. Like two queens in a deck.

I love you because you always listen to me, even when you're not listening, because you're a boy and you can't, you're still pressent, and you accept me. You also tell good stories about how horses came from marsupials and used to be as big as cats. I love your stories. You're also a great big drama queen and maybe the only person who understands how I can fall in love in 24 hours. You're my boy.

I love you because you honour yourself and the call of your soul. You are a lamppost for us all. A light of self love, self belief. You made me a bicycle from junkyard scrap. And you stay real with me.

I suppose I love you because you love me. But not because you give me love, because you meet me in the middle and we each hold half.

Roses are nice, but for $4 a stem they're a crippling rip off.

Chocolate isn't nice, it's bad for you and sickly.

Cards are just firewood that say things we already know in our hearts.

Lingerie is sexy, but only because of who it's on.

So heres my ending point.

Love is everywhere, and love is all there is.

So please don't feel bad today. Theres so much good.

If you do feel bad, I suggest surfing. It cures all ills.

If that doesn't convince you, think of baby Jesus.

Do you think baby jesus wanted Myrr? Have you touched myrr? it's as tacky as a bottle blonde in a sequenned dress. But baby jesus knew, he knew that God meant well, and so he felt good in his little baby tummy and he was grateful. If only we couldn't all be more like baby jesus.

Happy in our tummies. Amen.

X